Who is Defining Your Success? Part 2

According to Pew research

80% of 19 – 25 year olds see getting rich

as a top life goal for their generation.

Next is being famous at 51% followed by helping the needy at 30% and being a leader at 22%.

Society complains that Gen X or Y feel so entitled but fails to convict itself of its role in creating an altered reality.  Through no fault of their own many children of the 80′s were handed luxury and steeped in keeping up with the Joneses.  The decade of excess epitomized by the 1980′s in America (sometimes dubbed the decade of greed) seriously skewed our ideas about success.  Young adults were no longer satisfied living in a split-level or ranch homes that they grew up in but built executive homes, put their children in designer clothing and more.  On page 33 of his book, “Is the American Dream Killing You”?, Paul Stiles states:

“Since the 1980s, American personal savings rates have been going down while personal income has risen and credit card debt has tripled.”

If adults fell prey to the messages, consider how firmly entrenched the entitlement mindset might be for those born during that time.  It’s true: Children learn what they live and those who are  late Gen X and all of Gen Y have never known any other way of thinking or being.

In part I of this series we examined how something as fundamental as how the very definition of the word success; initially meaning achieving a goal, had devolved to become about material wealth.  The the clip by Alain DeBotton urged us to consider how we “suck in” our ideas of success from outside sources. What we are experiencing is a potentially dangerous mind meme – the belief that success means money, prestige and status has gone viral.  The problem with any meme is that we are often unaware of its impact on our thoughts, values and behaviors. This unchecked meme is dangerous because it’s at the root of so much unnecessary suffering – personal debt, low self-esteem, corporate greed, mistrust, political backstabbing, stress, and depression – among a few.

Stiles provides an example of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs when he states:

“Money only buys happiness up to a point. Once you have clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and food on the table, multiple sources suggest that all the money in the world will not make you a bit happier.  Ironically, beyond a certain point, money actually buys unhappiness.  After a basic standard of material well-being, happiness comes from family and friends, marriage, leisure activities, and the nature of your work.  Ironically, these are all negatively impacted by the excessive pursuit of money, which creates stress, steals family time, alters moods, and breeds friction”…Oh, yeah and also that deathbed regret thing.

The point is that being infected with the meme (previously dubbed “Affluenza”) of never having or being enough can make us miserable, so why DO we accept it as a part of life – like the common cold?  Especially since unlike the common cold, we can inoculate ourselves to the meme by mindfully choosing what success means to each of us.  Getting inoculated means that when we become the authors of our own ambition, if we come down with an occasional case of piggy-itis, we aren’t likely to suffer unduly or succumb to it.

So what do you think?  Do you feel the tug, get sucked-in from time-to-time, or still grapple with your personal definition of success?  Please offer your thoughts and take this 30 second poll to identify your “top-o-mind” idea of  success – if you answer “other” to the poll choices, a quick comment below will be illuminating and most appreciated.