Life Equals Risk: Fear and Risk Tolerance (part 2)

“No passion so effectively robs the mind of all of its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” ~Edmund Burke

Why do some people spend their lives wishing for something while others are living their dreams?

Ronald Heifetz, professor at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government, answers by saying,  “Making real decisions and taking real risks requires freedom – freedom from the loyalties, expectations and fears that inevitably fog our risk-vs.-reward equation.  Peoples’ choices to take or refrain from risk are over-determined by their culture.” Professor Heifetz’s quotation about culture determining risk tolerance is provocative but only scratches the surface.

Is there something beyond culture that makes some people more willing to act on their wishes – to take more risks than others?

Psychologists have theories but now geneticists are weighing in. The BusinessWeek article, Innate Risk-Takers introduces the book, “Born Entrepreneurs, Born Leaders: How Your Genes Affect Your Work Life”.  The title may lead us to believe that entrepreneurs are hard-wired for leadership and risk but the story and theory don’t end there.  Our genes may impact in-born behavioral styles but we humans are far too complex for sweeping genetic generalizations – nature and nurture play very important roles.  A single source, book or risk-taking assessment cannot identify your true risk-taking style, much less how you react to various risk situations.

To begin to illustrate this complexity,  I’ll disclose a few high and low risk tolerance traits (as described by the books) and how nature/nurture contribute to my personal risk tolerance. 

Please use the bullets as a prompt to consider factors that may impact your risk tolerance.

I’m risk-tolerant - by the books, because:

• I’m at my best under pressure – enjoyed emergency ambulance work.
• Enjoys speed, rollercoasters, and had a (before parenthood) desire to skydive.
• Primarily exhibits “Dominance” and “Influence” behavioral styles in work environments (they love spontaneity, fast pace, risks and challenge)
• Those with the birth sign of Aries are known for adventure, pioneering, optimism and risk-taking.

I have always considered myself risk-tolerant, yet just yesterday, my husband described me as risk-averse!  It surprised me but made sense at the same time. Here’s why it’s not so simple:

I’m risk-averse - by the books, because:

• I like surprises…just not bad ones.  My mind works to troubleshoot what can go wrong with anything/everything – I want to be prepared.
• Moving from middle class to relative poverty as a child created strong financial sensibilities. I don’t worship money and I don’t waste it.
• When I’m not in the role of boss, my “Dominance” behavioral style is replaced with “Steadiness” and “Conscientiousness” (full focus on helping.  I can be spontaneous but prefer to research decisions and to plan)
• Working in allied health and having a child with dairy anaphylaxis has made me keenly aware of risks that others may not consider – hence, more cautious.

~ What is your mix of risk-tolerance and risk-averse nature/nurture traits?

~ How did my risk tolerance equation factor in the biggest risk that I have personally taken…leaving a six-figure salaried job and starting my own business in 1997 as a single mother with no other source of income?

For me, risk tolerance is largely about fear management.

I was only able to manage the fear with an equal mix of:

using my head – following my heart – and trusting my gut.

Please share your ideas and experience and/or read part 1:

• When have you felt the fear and decided to do it anyway?
• What did you learn about risk, fear and yourself?

Fitting-in vs Being Authentic (part 3)

Human beings are hard-wired for social acceptance and are motivated to do whatever is necessary to fit-in or be liked. The question is…at what cost?

Consider the impact on history made by those who have dared to be different; from Joan of Arc to Elvis Presley.  Albert Einstein was initially seen as a failure and out right weirdo long before his ideas were ultimately deemed genius.  He dealt with the rejection by saying,  “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

I’m not suggesting that we ignore convention; we need some level of conformity for order.  Being true to oneself isn’t exactly radical but as Einstein’s quote demonstrates, a certain level of audacity is in order.  An audacious confidence and bravery is vital to balance our hard-wired fear of rejection.

The bravery that I’m speaking about was summed up beautifully in a comment to part 1 of this series. Karen Swim said, ” doing me scared is better than not doing me at all”.  So many of you commented with encouragement, honesty and refreshing revelations – thank you!  Some of you have arrived, some of you are just embarking on this journey and I’m not at audacious yet.  So when the trepidation comes to call, I have to affirm my resolve to be completely myself if I hope to fully realize myself.  I’ve also become keenly aware that audacious transparency is necessary if I hope to find my “right people”.  By “right people” I’m referring to the people that I am best suited to serve or those who bring joy and knowledge to counter-balance the stresses arising from inevitable mean-spirited or small-minded encounters.  That’s what defining “right people” means to me – the real beauty is that it’s personal and unique to each of us.

We can spend our whole lives trying to find a few that we consider our “right people” but when we are authentic and transparent, they find us -  and we soon find that we are surrounded just the right elements for our growth.

Audacious authenticity isn’t reserved for those with the power to revolutionize the planet – it can revolutionize each of us.  What do we miss when people live and die without the freedom to bloom, to bring forth their unique essence?  In Science, Religion, World Culture, Sociology, Education, Music, Media, and more, the very soul of innovation and our evolution was made manifest by those considered anything but normal.   These brave souls who “marched to the beat of a different drum”, were able to be true to themselves, actualize their true potential, and in the making, make us all better for it!

How does “fitting-in” impact your peace of mind or quality of life?

What would it feel like to be truly comfortable (authentic/transparent) in your own skin?

What would working with your “right people” look and feel like?

What might you be able to achieve if fitting-in was eliminated from the equation?

Read part 2 of this series.

Is There a Formula for Job and Life Succcess?

JobLife Architects want to know… can job achievement and life happiness co-exist a well-adjusted and fulfilled person?

A 72 year-old study provides us with a glimpse into some of the answers.  Harvard researchers began following 268 (male sophomores including John F. Kennedy and Ben Bradlee) who entered Harvard in the late 1930s.  These were men that already “had it made” by most societal standards.  But the study’s goal was not to see how the well-adjusted, affluent and educated would fare, but rather, to see how their lives would play out and what factors really impacted happiness or success over time.  The study was followed these men for 72 years, allowing data to be gathered as the study participants went through life stages beginning with their sophomore year of college and (including for some: war, careers, marriages and divorces, parenthood and grandparenthood, and now for those still alive, old age)  up to death. Here, for the first time, we can learn from one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history, The Grant Study delves deeply into what really matters at the end of each day and at the end of our lives.

David Brooks writes of the study in his Opinion article “They Had It Made” published in “The New York Times” and summarizes:  ” A third of the men would suffer at least one bout of mental illness. Alcoholism would be a running plague. The most mundane personalities often produced the most solid success. One man couldn’t admit to himself that he was gay until he was in his late 70s.   Author Joshua Wolf Shenk was permitted access to the study archives – his findings and thoughts are published in “The Atlantic” in an essay, “What Makes Us Happy?”

The articles beg the questions that only we can answer for ourselves:

At the end of our days and lives we will only have deathbed regrets if we discover that we spent our lives living someone else’s idea of success.

What does success mean to you?

• Is success more about material goods, achievement, happiness or some mix thereof?

What is the cost of living a life unexamined?

• How might taking the time for reflection and self-awareness have benefited the Grant Study participants who seemingly had it all?
  

See “Who is Defining Your Success” Part I to begin to define your own ideas of success.

What Does Career Satisfaction “Look Like” to You?

Are you happy with your job or where your career is going?

If not – why not?

“It’s not enough to keep busy. [People] want to have meaning in their lives and they want work to give them that meaning.”

Richard Bolles, “What Color Is Your Parachute? “

To begin to hone in on the root of your motivation or dissatisfaction, grab a sheet of paper and:

1.  Draw a line down the center to create two columns.

2. Jot notes in each column as you review the bullets below.

Column 1: What’s Satisfying?

List what you ARE getting that meets your needs and values.

Column 2: What’s Missing?

Note what you are NOT currently getting that you want, need, or value.

Note the impact of the following in the “satisfying” or “missing” columns:

Corporate
• Company reputation/advertising
• Products and services
• Resources or materials to do your job
• Budget or expense account
• Other: ___________________________

Fiscal
• Base salary
• Incentive plan/bonus opportunities
• Health, life, disability insurance benefits
• Paid vacation, personal/sick, holiday time
• 401k or retirement plan or stock options
• Child/elder care
• Other: ___________________________

Personal
• Work/life balance
• Preference for routine or random (locations/people)
• Alignment with personal values (service, money/material, belonging, self-actualization, etc.)
• Career development and/or promotion opportunities
• Other: ___________________________

Interpersonal
• Helpful and supportive management
• Need for autonomy or teamwork
• Persuading, influencing, or leading others
• Exposure to diverse styles, beliefs, ethnics, values
• Harmonious or challenging environment
• Other: ___________________________

As you go through the exercise, take time to really reflect on the work and environment that you found motivating, nuturing, stimulating.

Think about all the jobs you’ve held in your career to see if you can identify any trends while answering:
• What drew you to each company?
• What made you stay?
• What motivated you to leave?

When you have completed this exercise, you will have a list of you want, need, and value as deal “makers” for career satisfaction and clarity around deal “breakers” to avoid.