Why You Need a Reputation Management Front-Stabber

I was first introduced to the notion of a “front stabber” at a SobCon bloggers conference and immediately got it.  Maybe that’s because Erika Napoletano, the woman who said it, is known for delivering the unvarnished truth. 

Being honest and direct are so important to me that I somtimes wish that I could read other people’s minds. Undoubtedly, we weren’t given mind-reading abilities to spare us from (going fetal) the non-stop judgment that we are subjected to the moment we leave our homes  – or in some cases, before.  But those judgments and opinions are taking place whether our egos can handle them or not!  The problem is that we are often too busy to go looking for trouble so the fragile ego may choose to ignore reputation warning signs like being overlooked for key meetings or gatherings.  Worse still, we may inadvertently step on toes have no idea why we are highly regarded one day and persona non-grata overnight. What’s a person to do?

Beyond a healthy dose of introspection and self-awareness each day, there is nothing like having a front-stabber to clue you in on your blind-spots and your water cooler reputation.  Your front-stabber is someone with whom you share:

• implicit trust
• unconditional positive regard. 

In other words, not only do you know that they have your back and would come to your defense if you were being disparaged, your front-stabber gives you the heads-up scoop and warning signs to keep your reputation intact. A few examples of what they may need to tell you:

• People were rolling their eyes when you mentioned (again) your last big award or accolade.
• Colleagues are beginning to expect that you will be late or unprepared for meetings.
• Using the standard Linked In invitation looks lazy, misses an opportunity to “connect” and appears self-serving.
• Team mates feel that you aren’t carrying your weight and have grown weary of  constant excuses for not following-up or following through.
• You are sometimes referred to as aloof, abrasive, a suck-up, superficial, etc.
• People are exchanging glances when you ramble or monopolize meetings.
• Because you forget to say where you learned something or heard an idea, it’s assumed the idea is your original thought.

Three questions to consider:

1 – Would you want to know these things?

2 – Who would you trust to tell you?

3 – Could you simply say, “thank you for telling me” or would you punish your front-stabber with an angry rant about how it’s not true or not fair?

The truth of what your front-stabber tells you simply doesn’t matter…perception is reality and when it’s time for a promotion, your reputation eats your resume for lunch!

Do you agree? What are the pros/cons of a front-stabber? Do you have a  front-stabber experience to share?

Lessons in Living, Fighting and Dying Well

When our lives end, the only enduring remains are the imprints left on the lives we touched. This post is intended to honor the memory of an extraordinary joblife architect by sharing a glimpse of the unique imprint left by my dear friend and mentor, John Reddish.

I’ve learned a lot from job and life mentors but nothing can compare to what he taught me – John showed me how to die.

The following is adapted from my eulogy remarks:

In 1998 when John Reddish and I met at a National Speakers Association meeting, little did we know that the future would place us side-by-side in the trenches of the fiercest battle that each of us would ever fight.

Two years later, John fought with me in the trenches of a Federal court battle to protect my intellectual property. It was during that 8 month battle and our quick daily “bulleted” phone updates, that JR became shorthand for John and I was dubbed JM.

Over the next decade, a very strong bond of mutual respect evolved… but had not yet been tested. That test came in April when JR sent me the diagnostic CAT scan report.  As I read and re-read the report, there was no doubt that that he was deep in the trenches and in grave danger.

Some have wondered why I took the role as his healthcare advocate.  It wasn’t because I could or should.  But simply because those who have stood and fought side by side in the trenches know the importance of keeping a constant eye out for each other.

So over the next 8 months, JR graciously allowed his dear friend Bill Sawyer and me to share the trenches of chemotherapy with him:

The first 6 outpatient rounds would have knocked most to their knees but IF he didn’t tell you or you didn’t see his hair or weight loss… you would have no idea that he was battling cancer.  He NEVER LET ON and he NEVER SLOWED DOWN.

• During the chemo sessions he would tell me of how touched he was by emails, cards or calls he received. If you are one who expressed shock upon learning that he had passed or disappointment that you didn’t reach out enough…please don’t dismay – shielding you was his way.
• During the longest of outpatient chemo sessions he would often say, “its not my time, JM – I still have too much to do. One time when the Benadryl made him a bit woozy, he slipped and said he still had too much to give. To “give” rather then “do” was more accurate but not something he would normally say – it would be too much like bragging to him. But one only needs to read his FaceBook page to see how much he gave and many lives he touched. He was just getting started.
• When the nurses fawned over the picnic baskets of gourmet goodies that we noshed throughout the chemo days, he would puff up a bit and say, “I have great friends” – referring to all of his friends – I heard him say it often.  The only time I ever saw John display pride was when showing a photo of his 3 beautiful grandsons or when speaking of his friends – they meant the world to him.

In August, when the lymphoma spread and was now at stage 4, we to MOVED from the TRENCHES of OUTPATIENT chemo to the FRONT LINES of HOSPITALIZATION  – it was the difference between 3-8 hours and 3–6 days of continuous chemo infusion!

During this time (between tweet chats no less) John would tell the medical staff that he was fine and felt great…but the films and labs clearly showed otherwise. The doctors, Bill and I shook our heads – in retrospect, he was just demonstrating the best business practice of staying focused on the GOAL (of beating the odds) not on the OBSTACLES. What a wise man.

By then, my job as medical advocate had morphed into wingman and all around “mother bear”.  So when I asked the tough questions that JR expected me to ask, he said, “it doesn’t matter if they tell me that I will die tomorrow, I won’t give up.”

In early November – when the labs showed me that his body was defying his spirit, he never showed fear, never let on and never, ever complained.  How is that possible when you’re dying?  But he didn’t.  From the darkest and most trying of times in the trenches, JR never gave up even as his body gave out.

In the end, we both lost our battles, but STANDING AND FIGHTING alongside JR was an extraordinary honor and education. You see, I got to watch a man LIVE the meaning of the saying…”never say die”.

John Reddish was an icon of how to live, fight and die with wisdom, verve and dignity.

He taught me as much in death as in life.

The Unnatural Act of Networking

Does the idea of walking into a room of strangers evoke feelings of excitement or dread?

Whether a cocktail party or association meeting, I typically feel dread.

The need to understand the dread of networking has gotten under my skin. When I think about walking into the Friday evening reception for my first SOBCon mastermind meeting,  I don’t feel the typical dread but I do feel a bit reticent.  This makes no sense for a couple of reasons: First, because the small group of bright, fun and supportive folks I’m about to meet aren’t the stereotypical networking event types.

It also makes no sense because I’m not usually shy.  To those who know me professionally, the idea that I might be shy is ludicrous. I’m the kind of person who could be described as “she never met a stranger” - I absolutely love people.  And since I’m in my second decade of delivering training and keynotes to audiences of hundreds,  I could hardly be described as shy.  The fact remains, I do feel a bit shy or at the very least reticent about walking into any room of strangers and I know I’m not alone.  So if I struggle,  I can’t imagine how challenging networking must be to someone who really is shy. Why do so many of us dread or have a love/hate response to networking? 

While examining why, I’ve had a few epiphanies about the feelings that arise during networking and the methods used to manage them.

• It feels contrived - Since the mid 1990s my National Speaker’s Association colleagues have been advocating use of  the elevator pitch. As a former product manager, I fully appreciate the branding and recall benefits of messaging but I’ve grown weary of hearing and delivering elevator pitches. The idea of repeating another elevator speech makes me a little nauseous.
  

• It’s superficial - We are hard-wired to judge.  Like it or not, in the first 30 – 90 seconds people are judging dress, height, grooming, body language, voice, wit, title. We don’t get to know a person, we get a snapshot of them – one where they are posing…literally.

• It’s clique and power driven - People tend to gravitate to their familiar circles and typically don’t go out of their way to bring outsiders in.  Many are watching the door or looking over the shoulder of the person talking to see if someone more important has arrived on the scene. I can’t help but cringe when I see an over the shoulder glance or while watching the masses flock to the alpha crowd.

• And the #1 epiphany is…you can’t fight city hall - networking is a vital social and career development skill!  So, if you’re not comfortable working a room,  you owe it to yourself to find ways to become a more natural networker.

This self-reflection (above) and being clear about my objectives (below) has provided methods for making networking a bit more natural to me.

Which of the following would make what feels like an unnatural act a bit more natural to you?

• To Connect or Impress? Of course, it’s ideal to do both but we tend to put more emphasis on one area.  For example, to build relationships, the emphasis is to connect- to build business, the emphasis may be to impress.  My business model and personality create a focus on connecting – one of the reasons I dread networking is because I want to have meaningful interactions.  I don’t remember many elevator pitches but I always recall how someone made me feel. I recently had a very deep conversation with someone I had met briefly on several occasions. Neither of us were looking to impress, instead of the usual game face, we allowed ourselves to be a little vulnerable and shared more of our authentic selves – in that one conversation I felt a true kinship with her.  Not that every encounter should be as such, it’s an example of truly connecting versus trying to impress. Turns out, she was just being an exceptional model of what she blogs about, “The Art of Authentic Chit Chat”.

• Are You More Active or Passive? I prefer to be approached than to approach. It’s odd but I only feel comfortable approaching if I have a role or reason for walking up to a stranger.  If I don’t have a role, I have found that I feel much more comfortable approaching someone who looks isolated or shy.  I’ll introduce them to others who don’t know anyone.  I actually formalized an association’s “Welcome Committee” this way. One of my epiphanies resulted in a good chuckle when I realized that I had given myself a  role (to make myself comfortable) to approach others in hopes of making them more comfortable!

• Do You Want to Build Your Power, Customer or Knowledge Base? You certainly can do all three, but your priority is probably based upon your business needs.  If I were a salesperson or had a huge payroll to meet, my priorities might be to build my customer base.  But as someone running a boutique knowledge-based business,  I’m free to seek out fascinating people without regard for their business potential. I just shared an example of learning from my “Art of Chit Chat” colleague and was able to pass along the learning experience.

• Do You Tend to Do More Talking or Listening? Does telling what you know or learning what others know align with your networking objectives? I find that if someone asks great questions or if I don’t have a few good questions to ask, I end up doing most of the talking.  Problem is, I can’t learn from others when I’m doing talking, so it helps to have a few conversations starters at the ready. Of course, I don’t want to sound like I’m interrogating someone but when used appropriately, the questions spark interest, keep people engaged and help me to connect and build my knowledge base.  The following examples are provided as a springboard for you to create a set of questions that fit your style and networking events.

Conversations Starter Sampler

If you could undertake a business venture and know that you could not fail – what would would it be?

We’ve all heard the expression, “you couldn’t pay me enough to do that job” – what would that job be for you?

If you could hear a speech from any leading figure throughout history, whom would you choose to hear ?

If you could be the spokesperson for any product on the market, which product would you happily endorse?

What’s the best thing that you ever learned from a good or bad boss?

What topics do you consider a bore?

What’s the best thing your parents or children ever taught you?

So what about you? Does the idea of walking into a room of strangers fill you with more excitement or more dread?

• Are you a natural or unnatural networker?
• What are some of your favorite questions to spark conversation?
• What other tips can you share?
  

Who is Defining Your Success? Part 2

According to Pew research

80% of 19 – 25 year olds see getting rich

as a top life goal for their generation.

Next is being famous at 51% followed by helping the needy at 30% and being a leader at 22%.

Society complains that Gen X or Y feel so entitled but fails to convict itself of its role in creating an altered reality.  Through no fault of their own many children of the 80′s were handed luxury and steeped in keeping up with the Joneses.  The decade of excess epitomized by the 1980′s in America (sometimes dubbed the decade of greed) seriously skewed our ideas about success.  Young adults were no longer satisfied living in a split-level or ranch homes that they grew up in but built executive homes, put their children in designer clothing and more.  On page 33 of his book, “Is the American Dream Killing You”?, Paul Stiles states:

“Since the 1980s, American personal savings rates have been going down while personal income has risen and credit card debt has tripled.”

If adults fell prey to the messages, consider how firmly entrenched the entitlement mindset might be for those born during that time.  It’s true: Children learn what they live and those who are  late Gen X and all of Gen Y have never known any other way of thinking or being.

In part I of this series we examined how something as fundamental as how the very definition of the word success; initially meaning achieving a goal, had devolved to become about material wealth.  The the clip by Alain DeBotton urged us to consider how we “suck in” our ideas of success from outside sources. What we are experiencing is a potentially dangerous mind meme – the belief that success means money, prestige and status has gone viral.  The problem with any meme is that we are often unaware of its impact on our thoughts, values and behaviors. This unchecked meme is dangerous because it’s at the root of so much unnecessary suffering – personal debt, low self-esteem, corporate greed, mistrust, political backstabbing, stress, and depression – among a few.

Stiles provides an example of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs when he states:

“Money only buys happiness up to a point. Once you have clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and food on the table, multiple sources suggest that all the money in the world will not make you a bit happier.  Ironically, beyond a certain point, money actually buys unhappiness.  After a basic standard of material well-being, happiness comes from family and friends, marriage, leisure activities, and the nature of your work.  Ironically, these are all negatively impacted by the excessive pursuit of money, which creates stress, steals family time, alters moods, and breeds friction”…Oh, yeah and also that deathbed regret thing.

The point is that being infected with the meme (previously dubbed “Affluenza”) of never having or being enough can make us miserable, so why DO we accept it as a part of life – like the common cold?  Especially since unlike the common cold, we can inoculate ourselves to the meme by mindfully choosing what success means to each of us.  Getting inoculated means that when we become the authors of our own ambition, if we come down with an occasional case of piggy-itis, we aren’t likely to suffer unduly or succumb to it.

So what do you think?  Do you feel the tug, get sucked-in from time-to-time, or still grapple with your personal definition of success?  Please offer your thoughts and take this 30 second poll to identify your “top-o-mind” idea of  success – if you answer “other” to the poll choices, a quick comment below will be illuminating and most appreciated.

Who is Defining Your Success? Part I

What IS Success?

A “Think Quick” challenge: Right this second, can you state your definition of success?

Most people think they know but few are able to define what success really means when applied to their own lives. And if YOU can’t define it, then WHO IS defining it for you?

If you can’t DEFINE success – how can you DESIGN success?

This quick clip (<2 minutes) of a TED talk by Alain DeBotton creates a great springboard to consider what YOUR idea of success is.

In view of DeBotton’s point about who creates our ideas of success, consider the Merriam Webster Dictionary’s definition:

1 -  obsolete: outcome, result
2  – degree or measure of succeeding b : favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence
3 -  one that succeeds

I was both surprised and saddened to see how the original, now obsolete definition  has evolved (or devolved) from generic goal achievement to encompass fortune and/or fame. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with fortune or fame. Like DeBotton, I’m very interested in success. What I’m proposing is that success as defined by worldly standards is often at the root of many a deathbed regret. We simply need to have clarity around what we truly value in order to define success in our own terms.

In his book, Is the American Dream Killing You? Paul Stiles eloquently captures this: “Success in America is neither moral or spiritual nor intellectual nor artistic these days, but financial. Unsure of what they stand for, people rely on money as the criterion for value…people deserve respect and admiration because they are rich. What used to be a medium of exchange has usurped the place of fundamental values…the cult of success has replaced a belief in principles.”

Many who have never questioned or defined success strive to “live the dream” only to awaken to the nightmare of a self-imposed prison consisting of a burn-out job to pay for a big mortgage, serious credit card debt and/or an empty family life. DeBotton talks about the “notion of work-life balance nonsense” – that we can’t have it all and I quite agree.  That’s exactly why clarity is vital to prevent burnout and/or rude wake-ups from what we thought was “our” dream.  He urges us to be the authors of our own ambition by probing to ensure that our ideas of success are truly our own.

Some folks want to simply hire a coach to tell them how to be successful but this work cannot be delegated. Trying to hire-out defining and designing your success is like asking a cleaning service to clear out your closet. Only YOU can… make the tough decisions, know your style, try things on to see what fits and let go of what you need to discard!

Have you defined success in your own terms? If so, please comment about:

• how your idea of success has changed
• who previously formed your ideas of success
• your commitment to defining and designing it for yourself.

Then answer the questions that follow to refine or define what success means to you.

Answering the questions isn’t easy but it’s pivotal to long-term happiness and the ability to live with purpose and on purpose. It requires that you stop putting one foot in front of the other  – that you take a step back to observe and reflect. This quote sums it up:

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.

The problem is I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.   ~Mark Twain

So…let’s begin proving Mark Twain wrong. Start with a blank sheet of paper and use Webster’s definition #3,“one that succeeds”- begin to define:

What IS success in each of the main categories of life?

1. Family
2. Health
3. Finance
4. Job or Career
5. Personal: spiritual, friendships, hobbies
6. Community, etc.

- Where does the successful you prioritize your time?

- What are you known as, or for, in each category?

- How does the successful you look, walk, think, and talk like in each category?

- How can you integrate those to create some semblance of work-life balance? What do you need to let go?

IF you’re serious about doing the work, you’re on your way to becoming the architect of your job and life.  Start your list and keep it handy for further thought and reflection – maybe transfer it to an index card that you can easily post to consider throughout the day and weeks ahead.  Read part 2 to further explore the implications and definitions of success.

Fitting-in vs Being Authentic (part 2)

Freud dismissed the very idea of “normality” as “an ideal fiction” – and of course it is!

When we consider the vast diversity of human beings,  we see a kaleidoscope of complexity rather than conformity from the time of birth.  Ask parents of more than two children how different each was and you will most often hear that they arrived with differing temperaments, personalities, tastes and talents.

Normal is predicated by our environment:  families,  schools,  social and spiritual, each creates overt and subvert pressure to conform. The published and unwritten rules are reinforced with the selection of those who are popular from those who generate gossip or are ostracized.  Even children who don’t fit in the family norm are dubbed the “black sheep”.

A recent example of not fitting “the norm” came from a former employee who called me requesting a reference.  She said that after a year in a new job, she was not a good fit in a corporate culture that was suffocating her so she was actively interviewing for a new job. Our conversation reminded me of a time (1990) when as the only female corporate sales director,  I wore short hair, boxy suits, and put on a no-nonsense facade in order to be taken seriously – I was convincing, but I couldn’t maintain it;  it withered my soul.

So I started to ask myself these questions and invite you to do the same:

• How important is it for me to to fit in?  To myself, my family, my job, my community?
• What aspects of my true self do I need to suppress or hide in order to fit in?
• To what degree can I really be myself at work, with friends, or even at home?
• Do I sometimes feel like an imposter or actor?
• Am I  exhausted at day’s end from “acting” my role or wearing my “game-face” all day?
• Am I affected by the need to “stuff” a part of who I am for such a big part of my day and life?
• Do I value social approval over self-actualization?
• Do I prevent others from knowing me and benefiting from all that I have to offer?
• If I don’t allow others to really see me, how will I ever find my “right people” – those that get me?

I was so grateful for the many comments to this week’s launch post on this topic.  In the comments to part 1 of the series, John Reddish provided an excellent frame of reference for why many of us are grappling with authenticity and transparency and struck a chord:

The fact is that more and more, we realize that the old model, requiring self-containment and following traditional paths, just doesn’t work. Blame Joseph Campbell, blame a permissive society, blame the “me” generation, blame the New Age, but more and more of us are seeking to “follow our bliss” and because the old model isn’t working, more and more traditionalists are paying attention, even making allowances.

Over the years, I’ve become less willing to sublimate the silly and spiritual aspects of my true Self and to trust that others will still be able to see my polished professional facets, too.  How about you?

Please consider the following and read part 3.

Have you ever found yourself miscast in a job, relationship, or culture?

Have you ever made job or life changes by asking some of the above questions to yourself?

Are you becoming (or have you become) more daring or vulnerable about sharing your authentic self?

Do You Have a Water Cooler Rap Sheet?

When people would complain I would give them an ear, and when the complaints morphed into a bitch-fest, the younger me might even happily join them.  But as soon as the rants turned to gossip, I would disappear.  I don’t think that anyone really knew how I felt about it;  I guess my approach was a bit like the military’s don’t ask/don’t tell policy.  I was blissfully happy not to know about the swirling dirt but I also realized that not being “clued-in” could potentially put me at a political disadvantage.  I decided that I would have to live with the handicap.

The first Christmas after my divorce in 1994, my friend and admin at the time came over to help me put up my tree.  The work was pretty tiring but we kibbitzed about a little of everything, laughed, and drank wine the whole time.  It was well after midnight when exhaustion and a snoot full of wine got her to gossiping.  I was able to change the subject several times but she would return to the next bit of scoop.  On a whim, it occurred to me that if I couldn’t escape the gossip, I should ask what people are saying about me.  To my astonishment, she lit up and said, “Ohhh…yeah, there’s one about you, and it’s a doozie”.  She went on to chuckle and tell me that anyone who knew me would find it absurdly funny or  set the record straight or both, as she did.

Whether you chose to engage in the water cooler gossip or disengage from it,  you cannot avoid making the rap sheet – it’s where your reputation is formed.  Sure, it’s helpful to have friends that will take your back if you are ever a gossip victim.  The more  serious consideration is, “it’s hard to play in the dirt without getting dirty” – and we rarely know who our friends are when careers or promotions are at stake.  If we stay and play in the swirling dirt, we need to be prepared for the water cooler rap to become a messy mud bath.

• Do you stay for the juicy gossip and if so, are you able to resist the pressure to comment or contribute?

• How often does criticism of management get back to them, including who said it?

• Have you ever had something that you said to “trusted” colleagues come back to bite you?

Is There a Formula for Job and Life Succcess?

JobLife Architects want to know… can job achievement and life happiness co-exist a well-adjusted and fulfilled person?

A 72 year-old study provides us with a glimpse into some of the answers.  Harvard researchers began following 268 (male sophomores including John F. Kennedy and Ben Bradlee) who entered Harvard in the late 1930s.  These were men that already “had it made” by most societal standards.  But the study’s goal was not to see how the well-adjusted, affluent and educated would fare, but rather, to see how their lives would play out and what factors really impacted happiness or success over time.  The study was followed these men for 72 years, allowing data to be gathered as the study participants went through life stages beginning with their sophomore year of college and (including for some: war, careers, marriages and divorces, parenthood and grandparenthood, and now for those still alive, old age)  up to death. Here, for the first time, we can learn from one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history, The Grant Study delves deeply into what really matters at the end of each day and at the end of our lives.

David Brooks writes of the study in his Opinion article “They Had It Made” published in “The New York Times” and summarizes:  ” A third of the men would suffer at least one bout of mental illness. Alcoholism would be a running plague. The most mundane personalities often produced the most solid success. One man couldn’t admit to himself that he was gay until he was in his late 70s.   Author Joshua Wolf Shenk was permitted access to the study archives – his findings and thoughts are published in “The Atlantic” in an essay, “What Makes Us Happy?”

The articles beg the questions that only we can answer for ourselves:

At the end of our days and lives we will only have deathbed regrets if we discover that we spent our lives living someone else’s idea of success.

What does success mean to you?

• Is success more about material goods, achievement, happiness or some mix thereof?

What is the cost of living a life unexamined?

• How might taking the time for reflection and self-awareness have benefited the Grant Study participants who seemingly had it all?
  

See “Who is Defining Your Success” Part I to begin to define your own ideas of success.

No Pink Slip Surprises

Imagine hearing the words, “We have to let you go.”

Those words strike fear into the hearts and minds of most on the receiving end of them. What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow?  Few people retire without losing at least one job along the way.  In reality, every job is temporary!  A right between-the-eyes tagline used by the good folks at CAREEREALISM. Right Management research revealed that 54% of employees were “involuntarily separated” from their jobs.   Losing a job is a life-changing experience, but it does not have to be a disaster, and today – it definitely should not be a surprise!

Whether you have already lost your job or just want to begin troubleshooting and managing your life, the late, great, Arthur Ashe overcame adversity and managed a brilliant career by following a maxim that he often quoted, “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.” In other words, actively leverage everything within your control. Focusing on what you can control means that you cannot always make yourself layoff-proof, but you can improve the speed, odds and overall success of your job search. Some sources claim that employees should expect to change jobs every 18 to 24 months! So, if your employment is not fully within your control, it’s time to take the reins back by undertaking a serious career management focus.

Begin by asking yourself, “If I got a pink slip tomorrow”…

1. Is my resume updated, refined, and ready to go?
2. Do I have a list of target companies that I would like to work for?
3. What is the size and quality of my network? Who could I call tomorrow?
4. How long could I stay unemployed without undue hardship?

I just attended yet another industry meeting where people about to be downsized are scrambling to begin  online networking with LinkedIn.  Their excuse of job and family responsibilites leaving them with no time to network is a valid but not when put into perspective…focus on job and family to the exclusion of networking can leave you jobless and unable to support yourself or family!  Consider the fact that a job search used to take most people 9 – 18 months but has now become far longer and 42% of people found their new jobs through networking contacts. Those on the receiving end of the pink slip surprise agree that the day after getting a pink slip is not the day to start updating a resume or building a network.

I’m saddened by the number of missing-in-action colleagues that have called me over the past two years because they are out of work networking.  Many of my colleagues report being alienated by the flurry of  MIA former colleagues and friends – seeing their calls as purely superficial and self-serving – and often they are!  I see them as a call to action and awareness to those that are employed and oblivious.  Do you know anyone that would be on the rude awakening end of a pink slip surprise today?  If so, please encourage them to read this to begin considering the important implications of complacency.

Anyone who hasn’t been on the job market for the past 2 – 3 years is in for a bit of a shock regarding how the rules and complexity of the job search have changed. Becoming active in industry associations is often not enough; checking out free resources on this website, and joining the LinkedIn  JobLife Architects group for tips, discussions and career newsfeeds, are just a few of the things that you can do to stay current and begin to proactively manage your career.

So what will you do today to “start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can, to begin actively managing your career? Take charge – there’s no such thing as a pink slip surprise when you’re ready.

What else would you tell people about the need to be prepared?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a pink slip surprise?

What lessons learned or or “how-tos” advice can you share?